Trying Something New

Today I stepped out of my box and I went to have a little fun. I went to play ball with a friend of mine. I dare not reveal his name for it isn't important but I will say that he has inspired me to try something new but old to me. I haven't touched a basketball in about five or six years and he managed to get me out there for an hour. It makes me wonder why did i ever stop. Its weird that I can play all day long (on a good day no sun LOL) but I can't watch it.

I think it is time to do it on my own and stop waiting on someone to hold my hand. I like the cool weather and its approaching soon. So I need to lace up my shoes and have some fun.

The Drama

Its been a long time since I've reported to my wonderful weight loss goal. I have always said that you should not let anything come in the way of your goals. Well i have a confession to make, I have. My mother has made a deep impact on how i see things and what goes on in my life. It gets to the point to where i want to fall into the darkness and never come out. I dislike my mother to the borderline of hate. You should never ever ever have to feel that way about your mother. She is the fakes most conniving most snakish women i have ever been around. She nit picks at everything and her main focus is to control everyone life and make it just as miserable as hers. Could it be me or something else. What should I do should I just disappear and tell no one. Me going off into sleep does not work anymore. I am constantly being awaken for nonsense that only makes since in my mothers world. It hurts to the point to where i want to cry because if I were pregnant now with all the stress that i have it could a baby.

I don't eat .. i don't really sleep .. i don't see how my father deals with it ... when i find my save haven i will go but until then welcome to my HELL