Silence When I Step into a Room

How uncomfortable does it make you feel when you walk into a room and and you know someone is talking about you. You may not care. You might feel like they don't know you so it doesn't matter ... right? What if it is your parents ... how do you deal with that?

I walked onto church today, where woman have to wear a skirt or a dress, wearing pants and a nice shirt. When I looked up my mom was pointing out my flaws to my dad laughing. I felt so uncomfortable.

No one should expect that in their immediate family, if anything there should be support. That's never the case with my parents.

I am beautiful inside and out and some might confuse that with being conceded but its considered to be confident. My change and goals are for me and only me not because my weight disgust my mother.

I will always have silence when I enter a room but it will be good not bad

Rock & A Hard Place

Have you ever felt like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, literally? To me that rock is my weight and that hard place is my family. I have struggled with my weight for a very long time. I have also been constantly picked on by some of my family. I have always felt out of place. My parents were in the military and they are what I would consider "health nuts", my sister is scared of being a plus size model, and my brother ... he is just a growing teen lol. Having hips and a busty chest is a blessing to me and I don't wanna change but there is a difference between being plus size and healthy then being plus size and sloppy & I feel like I"m crossing that line.

Today I am stepping up and starting a new path. I'm not saying i will have my High School basketball playing body back but I would like to be healthy so I may chase and play with my daughter or walk up a flight of stairs without being winded.

As of right now I am 5'8 311lbs with a BMI over 40 and this change is for myself because I want this. If Queen Latifah, Opera, and Monique can do it, why can't I?

-NJ